Acrobats and Aardvarks

No, Mom, when I'm home for Christmas I will not update all your anti-virus software and update all the Microsoft patches you've been ignoring all year. I'm a programmer, not a computer repairman. Please stop telling Nanny that's what I do. Instead, this year I'm going to teach you how to fish.

Or rather, Simple Technology will.

For an easy primer on all the viruses, keyloggers and spyware that is clogging up your computer, please read "Keep your hands inside the ride at all times."

Now that you have wireless, I won't dare connect to your network till I know it's safe.

And here's how do more with your network: "Beyond the 'blinking 12:00:' home network solutions"

If you'll read these two articles I promise not to bring home eight bags of laundry this year.